What Will 40 Bring?

I have almost been avoiding writing on my blog.  In some ways I have had to come to terms with myself.  Last year in January I wrote several different blogs consisting of thoughts about my best friend, motherhood and my list of 39 things to do before I turned 40.  Well I turned 40 last month and physically that has been a challenge - my back went out, my LDL cholesterol went up and almost overnight I gained 15 pounds.  After a routine physical all of the tests showed within a normal range.  My doctor has recommended a new exercise regime and the rest is up to me.  So now it is time for me to take charge of being 40.  Because my list of 39 things kept me focused last year, I have decided to work on a few more goals this year.  My list isn't quite as long but it does have some things that are very close to my heart and soul.  In talking with Dean we agreed that it would be okay to journal my thoughts on the blog  - so here is this years list of goals:

1. Read the Book of Mormon
2. Finish my Personal Progress
3. Volunteer at Monroe Elementary
4. Study for Pioneer Trek
5. Pay off my one credit card
6. Clean out my storage unit
7. Weekend get-a-way with my husband
8. Complete an open water triathlon
9. Learn a new dinner recipe
10. Lower my LDL cholesterol
11. Lose 20 pounds
12. Hike Timp
13. Try to have a baby

I am a firm believer that by putting the hearts desires and personal revelations down in writing it moves those thoughts to a form of action.  In the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (one of my favorite books) it talks about the importance of finding your personal legend.  The author states "Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.  You've got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense."  Coelho also states that "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." Well my life is definitely a journey and each day is a new learning experience.  It is important to keep propelling my life into a forward motion in order for me to treasure all that has to offer.

So now with a big leap of faith I will move forward into my 40th year of life.  Thomas S. Monson has said that "Faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time." So going forward it is with faith that I work on this year's list.

One last thing - I love my husband!  He is my best support, my best friend and the balance in my life.  This year he made Valentine's Day so wonderful.  He is the first man to ever send me flowers!  He sent me 3 dozen red roses, took me to dinner and spoiled me all weekend.  How grateful I am that he is in my life!

It Does Not Do to Dwell on Dreams and Forget to Live ~ Albus Dumbledore

August has been a very busy month and this last Saturday was no exception to the standard. Early Saturday morning, Dean and I finished our third half marathon for the year - the Hobblecreek Half Marathon. It was a lovely run and beautiful scenery. To top it off, it was the best run of the year as half marathons go. In looking at my list of "39 Things" I have now surpassed my original goal to take 5 minutes off of my best half marathon time and I have taken 10 minutes off of my best time established prior to 2010. It was a wonderful feeling - I couldn't believe it. It was a good finish for both of us.

As we were driving home, I received a call. Realize, Dean and I have just both finished a 13.1 mile race in the heat - so we are hot, smelly and tired. The sound of taking on anything other than a nice cool shower just wasn't in our thought process. But my mind was quickly changed when I saw the call was coming from Birdman Academy (http://www.birdmanacademy.net/). The winds were perfect and it was time to hang glide (item 6 on "The 39 Things List"). Dean insisted that we could be there in 20 minutes. Going home first was not an option. So the second adventure of the day was about to "take flight."

We got to the flight location, I signed all of the proper release forms, received my 30 day license with the USHGPA and had a quick 20 minute instruction period. After that it was time to soar!




All I was supposed to do was - step, step, run, run, run. I was instructed to just keep running until the wind lifted us. As I was being strapped to the hang glider, the wind was so strong I could hardly hold my balance. In fact it took four grown men to hold the glider down. I asked my tandem instructor how I was supposed to engage in the step and run process he had taught me. He looked and me said "Don't worry we won't need that."




Sure enough the four men let go and with one step we were up!!! Looking around me I could see that I was truly soaring with the hawks at their level. We could see as these birds of prey entered a thermal, my tandem instructor would explain that we would enter that thermal as well. And sure enough, just like the magnificent birds of prey, we also experienced the up and down dip like a roller coaster without gravity holding me down - each time gaining a little more loft and continuous flight. The view was amazing. My ground crew suddenly looked like little ants on the hill side. It felt like I could see for miles.



I have been sky diving. But hang gliding and sky diving are very different. The ability to soar and glide with the birds was a new feeling and level of control. "We live in a wonderful world that is full beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." ~~Jawaharlal Nehru

Thanks to all of the staff of the Birdman Academy and my husband for a wonderful adventure!

Catherine's Pass - Item 21 on the List

As the year progresses forward, I am slowly working my way down "the list." With each adventure, I find myself including family and friends into this journey - I love the company so I hope they don't mind that I drag them along for the ride.

The latest adventure was number 21 on "the list"- meaning that I was to hike from Big Cottonwood Canyon over to Little Cottonwood Canyon. For some reason climbing over a canyon seemed like such a daunting task that I wanted to be prepared. So as a family we have been taking practice hikes on the weekends. We have hiked up to Rocky Mouth Water Fall, Red Butte Peak, Titus Lake and Neff's Canyon. Last Saturday, my family, my brother and sister-in-law and Dean's brother and sister-in-law started out in the Albion Basin in Little Cottonwood Canyon.

What a beautiful hike . This area has such a history - according to the book 60 Hikes within 60 Miles it states the following:

"Silver mining brought William Stuart Brighton to the upper bowl of Big Cottonwood Canyon in the 1870s. But he soon realized that a better living could be made feeding and housing miners than in actually mining silver. After spending three summers in a tent, he built a hotel in 1874 near the shores of Silver Lake and soon developed the area into a popular mountain resort. His wife, Catherine, would serve the trout she had caught in Silver Lake with hot buttermilk biscuits. Big Cottonwood's upper bowl contains a beautiful chain of glacial lakes cascading down the southern side. In a fitting tribute, William Brighton named the jewel of the upper Big Cottonwood Canyon after his wife. Lake Catherine is a perfectly inviting place for a rest or a relaxing afternoon."

For our hiking adventure, the morning was cool and beautiful - perfect trekking weather. The wildflowers were in full bloom. The hike was a gradual uphill with a series of switch backs. Rounding corner after corner until we finally made it to the mountain's saddle and our first view of Catherine lake. Wow. Deciding to extend our hike slightly, we started up to Sunset Peak (10, 684 feet). This was a steeper incline and I was wondering if I could make the trek. I am so glad that I pushed up the mountain, as the views were amazing - we could see all of the valleys and the cascading lakes. It was worth the extra time and climb to see the world from this vantage point.

Going down through the lakes and making our decent into Big Cottonwood Canyon was wonderful. A cool mountain breeze and wildflowers as far as the eye could see. How thankful I am to have the health and strength to enjoy the wonders of this beautiful world that our Heavenly Father has created.

I'm Not Perfect!

So it has been a while since I have posted on my blog. I am not sure if it is writer's block or just being very busy.

First of all - I need to thank Connie Cook from Picture Yourself Photography for our awesome family pictures at the top of the blog. We had such a wonderful time during the photo shoot. What has normally been a painful process for our family turned out to be one of our best days. We just had fun. Thank you Connie!

Second, I have been asked a lot lately where I am at on the "39 Things" list. Well here is a quick update. I have now completed 11 of the 39 items. The latest "thing" that I logged on the list was to complete a triathlon. On May 22, 2010, I completed the Woman of Steel Triathlon. The morning was very cold and rainy. Because the temperature was 39 degrees the swim portion was cancelled and the race was now a run-bike-run. Swimming is my stronger event - so I was a little disappointed but overall things went well for my first TRI effort. I was so nervous and the stress level was bringing me to tears. Dean was my cheerleader and spent the whole morning with me on the sidelines helping me all along the way! I survived and completed the race in 1 hour 50 minutes. A good start. I will participate in another "TRI" with Dean in September.

The "sugar" goal - well what can I say - the truth. I was doing really well but after about 3 weeks I slipped back into some old habits. I know I felt better, slept better and overall everything seemed better - so now I am trying again to see if I can go 39 days without sugar, gluten or dairy.

The "sugar" goal seems like one of the more challenging items on my list for me - but I ask myself why? It should be really easy. The other thing about not yet achieving this item is the way it makes me feel. I almost feel as if I have failed myself. And it is as if perfection on this item is definitely out of reach.

But why do I feel this need to be perfect? This is my list and who else really cares? So why do I feel the need to show to others the facade of perfection? And now that I think about it - perfection for me isn't just this one item, it isn't even the "39 Things" list, it is everyday life. I have a deep desire to prove to myself that I can do everything. I need to show that I can balance all that life has given me. I often feel that others judge me by my success and/or my failures. When in reality what it boils down to is simply me. I am not perfect. In fact I am very far from this thing called perfection and I hope that I never find it.

Harriet Braiker once said: "Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."

Anna Quindlen said: "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

So today, I am going to stop striving for perfection and start focusing on becoming myself. Being the best that I can be for me, my husband and my family. The people that mean the most to me, need me to be at my best - not perfect - but at my best. So as I continue to work on the "39 Things" list, my perspective has changed. I now ask myself, how can I develop myself? And how can that help me to support the ones that I love? Everything else is life - and that matters, but, it is the perspective that I approach life with - that is what I believe matters the most.

Confessions of a Sugar Addict!

Okay - this is true confessions time. I have one major downfall in life - sugar. I am a sugar addict. But here's the thing, not just sugar in any size, shape or form - I am a picky sugar eater. I can pass on the cake, doughnuts and pastries. I can even pass on most candy bars. But when I need sugar, I go straight for the cookies, Wint-O-Green Lifesavers or really good dark chocolate like Amano Chocolate bars. Let me just clarify, on the cookies, it's not just any cookie - it needs to be the kind that are homemade or like homemade. For example, sugar cookies with frosting, a good chocolate chip cookie with a slightly crunchy outside but nice soft slight gooey inside. Just thinking about it makes me smile and makes me want to indulge in my craving.

Why this obsession with sugar? Well because I have made the conscious choice to cut sugar, gluten and dairy out of my life for 39 days starting today April 14, 2010. Gluten and dairy I am not really worried about, but sugar - well what can I say - I have a sweet tooth. So I have made a logical compromise instead of going cold turkey, I have decided to cut refined sugar out - that means that I am going to allow honey in moderation, agave in moderation and stevia.

I have asked myself over and over, can I really do this 39 day sugar free project? Well since I am being honest - the answer is I don't know. When I get stressed, bored or even just because I finished a meal I go straight for the sweet treat. I don't know how to describe how a good piece of chocolate can relieve stress but it just does in some magical way. Or how biting into a really good frosted sugar cookie can almost seem nostalgic as memories of special occasions or Santa Claus and the holidays flood my mind. Can I give up that comfort that food can sometimes bring - again the answer is simply I don't know?

I have read study after study that describes to me that if I give up sugar, I will sleep better, think better, my body will function better and a large list of other "betters" that can happen all from giving up sugar. So now I will choose to put the research to the test for myself - what can giving up sugar do for me? I don't know - well at least not yet.

I have logged my starting weight, biking times, running / walking times and also sleep schedule. Over the next 39 days I will test these studies that I have read and see if my body and soul show any marked improvement. Only time will tell...

Exercise - Will I Ever Appreciate It?

In December 2007, I was standing at the starting line of the Death Valley 1/2 marathon (my third 1/2 marathon). As my dear friend and I were shivering in the cold morning air of the desert, I overheard a waiting runner state with enthusiasm "I love exercise!" I then turned to my friend and said; "You know, I really, really want to love exercise but I don't. I guess I just don't have an appreciation for exercise at any level." I started that 1/2 marathon and it turned out to be my worst event so far. My friend was so patient with me as I struggled through the course getting more and more ill with every step. I finished the race 3 hours and 20 minutes later. It was the longest race of my exercise history. To this day I am still grateful I had my friend with me supporting me every step of the way.

Now, as I sit looking at my list of 39 things to complete during this year, I have a couple of items on the list that require me to be physically active in some way. In fact I have been working on item number 15 - "Taking 5 minutes off of my best 1/2 marathon time." I guess in some way, I really am trying to find a way to love and appreciate exercise. I know that exercise is so vital for the human body and spirit. I also know that because of my genetic make-up, that without exercise my body would wallow in weight gain. But for me, it is a personal struggle every time I put on my walking/running shoes to want to exercise. Once I am out the door, I always have a desire to finish what I start. My husband and my dog are my biggest cheerleaders pushing or pulling me (as the case may be) out the door and down the street in an effort to help me "love" exercise.

On Saturday, March 20, 2010 I will attempt my 10th half marathon. This time in Moab, Utah. Based on my up and down training schedule - I am just hoping to finish this race in a decent time. The last Moab 1/2 that I participated in, I completed the course in 2 hours and 47 minutes. My best 1/2 marathon time was in Salt Lake (2008) at 2 hours and 40 minutes. So in order for me to take 5 minutes off of my personal best time would mean that I need to complete a 1/2 marathon course in 2 hours and 35 minutes. But this training schedule has presented new challenges for me. I have had terrible shin splints, extreme blisters and no matter what I do I don't seem to have the endurance to run/jog just 30 seconds faster with each mile.

I have found a way to stop the blisters, I have new Superfeet insoles for my shoes and my husband and my dog wait ever so patiently as I trudge behind them running down the streets of my city in an effort to finish what I have started. I may never truly appreciate exercise - but I will keep doing it. I will keep doing it to have time with my husband. I will keep doing it in the hope that somehow I will be able to stay more active as I get older. I will keep exercising to keep up with my children and I will keep exercising for me to be the best that I can be for myself and my family.

Life Stories

It has been a while since I have posted on my blog and in some bizarre way I have missed writing all of the different learning experiences that I have had recently.

In previous blogs I have had the opportunity to share about the wonderful trip that Dean and I took to Chile and Antarctica. It was an experience that has impacted my life - the people and the place changed me and helped me to grow. It was as if we were meant to be there and return back to our home in the planned time frame. Because exactly two weeks to the day, Chile was struck by an 8.8 earthquake one of the biggest in the country's history. Following were multiple aftershocks, power outages and destruction. Dean and I are thankful to be home, but our hearts and prayers go out to the people who are living there in the country's upset environment. We are looking for ways to help even though we are so far away. We are using this experience to try to teach our family that we have the ability to help people even if we can't see them face to face. Our stories of being there, make Chile real for our children and we hopefully can share the importance of helping others as well.

The last few weeks have been full of different learning moments for each of us in our home. And things that happened to me in my distant past have returned in the form of stories for my children as we navigate through life together - taking the good and the bad and making it work in our family. In the book, Kitchen Table Wisdom Rachel Naomi Remen, MD shares this thought:

"We carry with us every story we have ever heard and every story we have ever lived, filed away at some deep place in our memory. We carry most of those stories unread, as it were, until we have grown the capacity of the readiness to read them. When that happens they may come back to us filled with a previously unsuspected meaning. It is almost as if we have been collecting pieces of a greater wisdom, sometimes over many years without knowing."

I never dreamed that things that I had done when I was younger - my stories - would be so significant at this point in my life. But I find that when we encounter bumps in the road at our home, it is the stories that we share that tie us together. Yes, I share my imperfections with my children - I filter them but I share them. That is tough for me because I don't want them to see all that I have done wrong but I do need them to see that I am human and that I have been a teenager too. Sure it doesn't make every situation better but somehow it seems to help them see that I have walked in similar steps and that through our mistakes we can learn and grow.

Dr. Remen goes on to say; "One of the blessings of growing older is the discovery that many of the things I once believed to be my shortcomings have turned out in the long run to be my strengths, and other things of which I was unduly proud have revealed themselves in the end to be among my shortcomings. Things that I have hidden from others for years turn out to be the anchor and enrichment of my middle age. What a blessing it is to outlive your self-judgments and harvest your failures."

How grateful I am for my life experiences, my failures and my successes. Those are the things that have shaped that person that I am and those are the things that will help me to mold the person that I am to become. I just hope in some small way I can help my children to grasp their life moments, good and bad, and to glean all that they can from them in an effort to shape and structure their future and posterity to come.

Chile - The Last Day (and the cherry on top)

"Make voyages! Attempt them! there's nothing else" ~~Tennessee Williams

I think that life has provided me with the opportunity to travel and see so many wonderful and unique places around the world. And every place that I have been and the people that I have met have left a lasting impression on my heart and soul in some way. I have been asked what is my favorite place to visit - I can't really answer that because each place has given me something special that has added to or changed my life. This trip to Chile and Antarctica has been absolutely amazing but not quite in the way I expected. Our last day in Chile was what I would call the "cherry on top" bringing our trip to a close.

After Antarctica, we made it back to Santiago at about 1:30am on Saturday, February 13, 2010. After arriving at the bed and breakfast, Dean and I literally fell into bed. We were up again at 6:00am in order to get ready to attend the LDS Temple in Santiago. What a beautiful temple and a lovely morning.

As I have stated in earlier blogs, Dean served a 2-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Santiago 30 years ago. With the help of our friends - Dean made contact with a gentleman that he had baptized - Armin. Armin was 14 when Dean last saw him - that was 29 years ago. Because the means to communicate and keep in contact with people were not as easy as it is now - it was really just a miracle to find Armin. We met Armin Saturday afternoon at the temple. Armin didn't speak English and Dean's Spanish had improved slightly during the week to the point that he could understand the language but his ability to speak Spanish was still rusty. Somehow these two men were able to communicate. We had lunch together and talked about families, the gospel and the long and short of the last 30 years. Armin has 3 children (2 close to the age of our children). He is in the Stake Young Men's presidency. It was the perfect end to our trip in Chile. As we departed company, these two men hugged and agreed to stay in contact. As Dean and I talked about this experience - I could see that he was truly touched. It made his heart happy and renewed his spirit to see that his service in the gospel had been so beneficial to someone else's life. And in return to see that Armin has grown in the gospel passing this service and work forward to many others. It was wonderful to me to see the joy that this meeting brought to my husband and that made this trip priceless!

Returning home was another adventure as our flight had been cancelled due to weather. Again, we were so blessed. An LDS missionary was on his way home to the same location and with the help of his translation services, we were able to get a flight home - just a few hours later than our original time to destination. That was a miracle since the airline told me it would be 4 days before I could leave Santiago due to weather and cancellations.

Dean and I have been so grateful for the opportunity we had to visit Chile and Antarctica. We are especially grateful for the people we have met and friendships we rekindled while we were in this wonderful country.

"My life will never be the same having seen the sun shine on the other side of the world!" ~ Joelle

Number 3 - Antarctica (Blog 4 of the Chile trip)

The trip to Chile was amazing. Each day presented a new gift to us as we explored this unique country. For me this trip had many purposes - it was a long awaited honeymoon for Dean and I. It was the opportunity to see where Dean had served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 30 years ago and see the world from his perspective as a missionary. It was also the chance to try to complete one of my life's goals of visiting all 7 continents on the Earth. So being in Chile was the achievement for me to visit continent number 6 during my travels and adventures.

In preparing for our trip, I had found that there is one company that offers flights from Chile to Antarctica. This trip allows you to actually be on the continent. Dean and I discussed all of the pros and cons of traveling to this remote place in the world. We both decided that we would take the risk and attempt the journey.

Before booking our trip I wanted to know more about this place we would try to visit. Here are some interesting facts: Antarctica is the Earth's southernmost continent and it is the fifth-largest of the seven continents. Antarctica, on average, is the coldest, driest and windiest continent and has the highest average elevation of all the continents. Antarctica is considered a desert, with annual precipitation of only 200mm (8 inches) along the coast and far less inland.

Knowing this information, I realized that weather would be the biggest factor in making the voyage. Wind plays a big role in the ability for a plane to land or not.

When we arrived in Punta Arenas on Monday (2/8/10), Dean and I had hopes that the flight to Antarctica would take off as scheduled on Tuesday. However the flight was cancelled. It is important to know that Dean and I had decided before we left for Chile that with such a tight schedule that we fly back to Santiago on Friday 2/12 in order to attend the LDS temple on Saturday before we left for home. The only flight I was able to book out of Punta Arenas back to Santiago left Friday at 12:30pm. I was told that was the last flight we could get out of Punta Arenas in order to be in Santiago on Saturday.

The flight for Wednesday was cancelled due to weather.
The flight for Thursday was cancelled due to weather.

As stated in the previous blog, we enjoyed Punta Arenas and its surrounding areas. It was cold and windy but very beautiful.

Thursday afternoon we got the call that the flight to Antarctica would go on Friday. We were told the weather broke and that the flight landing window looked good. We went to the travel agent and they excitedly explained the information to us. Dean and I looked at them and told them that we couldn't go - we would have to cancel the trip. The agent looked shocked and exclaimed "What?" He said if you cancel, you won't get a refund. We were to allow a 4 day window and opted for the risk with the 3 day window that our schedule would allow. We again expressed that we had to be in Santiago by 6am on Saturday and that we would need to cancel and we recognized that we would not get a refund. At that point - this gentleman who had been so unhelpful throughout the week looked at us and said "let us help you - we believe you can make the Antarctica flight and still return to Santiago for your 6am responsibilities. The agent found a flight out of Punta Arenas to Santiago at 9:40pm on Friday evening and there was space for us to make the change. We were very concerned that even if we made the change in flights there was still the possibility that the flight may not go to Antarctica if the weather were to change.

The flight to Antarctica did go on Friday morning at 7:00am and Dean and I were 2 of 8 people on the little 10 seater airplane. We were joined by a couple from Australia, a gentleman from Japan and another lady from the United States and our two pilots. Everyone except for Dean was in pursuit of the illusive 7th continent. The flight was 3.5 hours to King George Island. We got 5 hours on the continent and then 3.5 hours back to Punta Arenas. We had just enough time to check in for our next flight after the Antarctic adventure. Below is a summary of our Antarctic journey.

The air in Antarctica was chilly but there wasn't a bit of wind. We couldn't believe it. From the landing strip we could see the research bases, the water and an iceberg out in the water - our small group of travelers were just in awe with finally making it to this rugged land.

The first stop on the tour was to visit Villa Las Estrellas - the Chilean base, Bellingshausen the Russian base, the Russian Orthodox church. We also had the chance to visit the post office and a small store for tourists. Basically in an effort to protect the integrity of the environment, the living arrangements are as simple as possible - to me it appears as if everyone was living in ocean containers with windows cut into them. The interesting thing to note that the Russian Orthodox church was shipped in special and is held together by chains. It definitely does not fit the look of the land.




After a simple lunch, we headed off in a very small zodiac boat with our guide Alejo. Alejo decided not to follow the schedule and our small group of travelers were more fortunate because of his change of plans. Alejo took us to Collins Glacier. It is the most active glacier in the area and about 80 kilometers long. This part of the trip was absolutely amazing. After a 15 minute boat ride, Alejo steered the boat into an ice field and the pancake ice started surrounding the boat on all sides. We were now face to face with the glacier. I had seen pictures of glaciers but now being face to face with this mass of snow and ice was absolutely incredible. The color and size are indescribable. Then Alejo turned off the motor to the boat and what happened next was again something I had never experienced. There was complete silence and then popping (like gun shots), cracking and other similar sounds all of which were from the glacier's constant movement. Every once in a while large pieces would crash into the water and then dead silence again followed by the popping and cracking of this giant's slow yet steady movement. Also as we watched and listened, seals would pop up look around and then swim off. A few penguins would swim by to check out the strangers in their world. Again, the words that I have written can't even describe the beauty of God's creation. It was magnificent!

As time was running out we had to move on to the next spot - the penguin rookery. En route we passed ice berg after ice berg. The color and beauty of the massive chunks of ice were absolutely phenomenal. With the sun and blue sky it seemed to only make the ice formations even more stunning.


The penguins - I spoke about penguins in my last blog of how they live, mate and raise their young - but the numbers and masses here were three times the amount compared to what we had seen in Punta Arenas. Penguins everywhere. There were three types of these flightless birds - Barbijo, Papua, and Adelaida. Fluffy babies and parents as well - all moving around not really afraid of our presence. The penguin chatter filled the air - the noise was just as if we were in a bustling city in this foreign land. A couple of elephant seals had beached themselves on the shore after a long morning of eating.





After this - we headed back to the airstrip and caught our flight back to Punta Areans. Antarctica was breathtaking in its own way. A quote I found from Andrew Denton sums it up best:
"If Antarctica were music it would be Mozart. Art, and it would be Michelangelo. Literature, and it would be Shakespeare. And yet it is something even greater; the only place on earth that is still as it should be. May we never tame it."

The journey is still not over . . .the best is yet to come. More to follow.