Keeping Busy

It has been a month since I posted an update on this 2011 journey.   Spring has been very interesting one minute there is sunshine and 70 degree temperatures and the next day we could wake up with 4 inches of snow.  It is crazy.  I am ready for spring.  I am ready to work in my garden and dig in the dirt.  Just ready for sunshine.  Oh how I long for the sun and the warmth that it brings.

In the last blog I discussed my concerns about having a child.  I still have

 concerns but I have settled into the process of trying.  I wake up every morning and before I barely move, I take my temperature.  I log it and then I look for any changes.  I really feel more in tune with my body than ever before.  I never realized.  I am continuing with acupuncture, daily vitamins and supplements and now Chinese herbs.  I am not pregnant yet but I feel great - better than I have felt in a very long time!  It is amazing.

One of the other things that have I had to make the decision to change is my eating habits.  No dairy, no wheat and no refined sugar.  So what is a girl with a sweet tooth to do?  Well I have buried myself in the kitchen.  Trying recipes and experimenting.  My family has been the testing zone.  Some things have been a success and others - well big flops.  My first success was from the the Spunky Coconut is was the Spunky Coconut Vanilla Bean Cake recipe. My family loved that cake and did not have a clue what the ingredients were in the recipe.  The secret - cooked white beans.  When I told them - jaws dropped but they continued to eat it.  Sam even had two pieces.  Now that I have made changes in my diet, spent so much time cooking and tasting - the amazing thing is that I am down 10 pounds from Christmas.  I am still 10 pounds to go to hit my goal but I feel amazing!

Last thing - Dean and I just finished our first half marathon for the year and we completed it with one of our best times in our half marathon career.  I followed a combination of running and walking and finished in 2 hours and 32 minutes.  Yeah!!!  The most amazing thing I wasn't sore the next day.  I felt great.  I had energy.  I can't wait until our next race in a month.  In fact my children are excited about being active.  In fact I talked my daughter into doing the Dirty Girl Run.  We are a relay team and we will each be taking 2 miles through mud obstacles dressed as divas!  We are looking forward to that event in July. The site is Dirty Girl Run - check it out!

I'm Not Perfect!

So it has been a while since I have posted on my blog. I am not sure if it is writer's block or just being very busy.

First of all - I need to thank Connie Cook from Picture Yourself Photography for our awesome family pictures at the top of the blog. We had such a wonderful time during the photo shoot. What has normally been a painful process for our family turned out to be one of our best days. We just had fun. Thank you Connie!

Second, I have been asked a lot lately where I am at on the "39 Things" list. Well here is a quick update. I have now completed 11 of the 39 items. The latest "thing" that I logged on the list was to complete a triathlon. On May 22, 2010, I completed the Woman of Steel Triathlon. The morning was very cold and rainy. Because the temperature was 39 degrees the swim portion was cancelled and the race was now a run-bike-run. Swimming is my stronger event - so I was a little disappointed but overall things went well for my first TRI effort. I was so nervous and the stress level was bringing me to tears. Dean was my cheerleader and spent the whole morning with me on the sidelines helping me all along the way! I survived and completed the race in 1 hour 50 minutes. A good start. I will participate in another "TRI" with Dean in September.

The "sugar" goal - well what can I say - the truth. I was doing really well but after about 3 weeks I slipped back into some old habits. I know I felt better, slept better and overall everything seemed better - so now I am trying again to see if I can go 39 days without sugar, gluten or dairy.

The "sugar" goal seems like one of the more challenging items on my list for me - but I ask myself why? It should be really easy. The other thing about not yet achieving this item is the way it makes me feel. I almost feel as if I have failed myself. And it is as if perfection on this item is definitely out of reach.

But why do I feel this need to be perfect? This is my list and who else really cares? So why do I feel the need to show to others the facade of perfection? And now that I think about it - perfection for me isn't just this one item, it isn't even the "39 Things" list, it is everyday life. I have a deep desire to prove to myself that I can do everything. I need to show that I can balance all that life has given me. I often feel that others judge me by my success and/or my failures. When in reality what it boils down to is simply me. I am not perfect. In fact I am very far from this thing called perfection and I hope that I never find it.

Harriet Braiker once said: "Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."

Anna Quindlen said: "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

So today, I am going to stop striving for perfection and start focusing on becoming myself. Being the best that I can be for me, my husband and my family. The people that mean the most to me, need me to be at my best - not perfect - but at my best. So as I continue to work on the "39 Things" list, my perspective has changed. I now ask myself, how can I develop myself? And how can that help me to support the ones that I love? Everything else is life - and that matters, but, it is the perspective that I approach life with - that is what I believe matters the most.

Confessions of a Sugar Addict!

Okay - this is true confessions time. I have one major downfall in life - sugar. I am a sugar addict. But here's the thing, not just sugar in any size, shape or form - I am a picky sugar eater. I can pass on the cake, doughnuts and pastries. I can even pass on most candy bars. But when I need sugar, I go straight for the cookies, Wint-O-Green Lifesavers or really good dark chocolate like Amano Chocolate bars. Let me just clarify, on the cookies, it's not just any cookie - it needs to be the kind that are homemade or like homemade. For example, sugar cookies with frosting, a good chocolate chip cookie with a slightly crunchy outside but nice soft slight gooey inside. Just thinking about it makes me smile and makes me want to indulge in my craving.

Why this obsession with sugar? Well because I have made the conscious choice to cut sugar, gluten and dairy out of my life for 39 days starting today April 14, 2010. Gluten and dairy I am not really worried about, but sugar - well what can I say - I have a sweet tooth. So I have made a logical compromise instead of going cold turkey, I have decided to cut refined sugar out - that means that I am going to allow honey in moderation, agave in moderation and stevia.

I have asked myself over and over, can I really do this 39 day sugar free project? Well since I am being honest - the answer is I don't know. When I get stressed, bored or even just because I finished a meal I go straight for the sweet treat. I don't know how to describe how a good piece of chocolate can relieve stress but it just does in some magical way. Or how biting into a really good frosted sugar cookie can almost seem nostalgic as memories of special occasions or Santa Claus and the holidays flood my mind. Can I give up that comfort that food can sometimes bring - again the answer is simply I don't know?

I have read study after study that describes to me that if I give up sugar, I will sleep better, think better, my body will function better and a large list of other "betters" that can happen all from giving up sugar. So now I will choose to put the research to the test for myself - what can giving up sugar do for me? I don't know - well at least not yet.

I have logged my starting weight, biking times, running / walking times and also sleep schedule. Over the next 39 days I will test these studies that I have read and see if my body and soul show any marked improvement. Only time will tell...