Am I The Right Height For This?

There is a common sign in most theme parks that clearly states at the beginning of each ride: "You must be this tall to ride the ride." I remember when I was younger, so much younger, waiting for the day that I would be the right height for any ride in any theme park. Well that day did come and now I am going to change that common phrase up a bit and ask: "Is this ride the appropriate height for me?"

The other day Dean and I had the opportunity to go to Lagoon - our local theme park. It brought back many nostalgic memories of our younger years of the rides that we had to be brave or daring to ride as well as the old traditional standby rides like the bumper cars or the merry-go-round. As we were discussing the "Big White Roller Coaster" and the Jet Star we felt like we should take the opportunity to brave those rides once again. Well let me just say - one go on the Jet Star and that really twisted my equilibrium around. Dean felt the same way. But we had to take on the "Big White Roller Coaster" or at least we felt we could handle it. One ride on that rickety thing and we were both out of commission for the rest of the night.

What happened to the days that we could go on the fast, crazy and popular rides over and over without getting our stomachs tied in knots? I remember taking pride in riding the Jet Star enough times that I would lose count on two hands as well as other big and fast coasters. Not now. Now am the parent who takes it easy, does some people watching and a nice mellow go around on the terror ride. Our children on the other hand were in heaven taking on the new and crazy coasters of today, the Spider or Wicked or Samurai over and over until they had had their fill of this insanity. So now I ask: Am I too old to ride these crazy rides? Does age take this kind of fun away? Or does the level of fun change with age? I must say it was rather fun for me to enjoy the theme park from a new perspective - that of my children. Watching them have fun and begging to stay until the park closed. That was fun.

Dean and I did have fun - we did all of the things that we never did when we were younger and you know what - I had a wonderful time. I am learning to enjoy the subtle changes that come with age. But sometimes there are changes I never expected to come like losing the ability to ride amusement park rides. So now instead of asking if I am the appropriate height for a ride, I ask myself is this ride the appropriate height for me?

I'm Not Perfect!

So it has been a while since I have posted on my blog. I am not sure if it is writer's block or just being very busy.

First of all - I need to thank Connie Cook from Picture Yourself Photography for our awesome family pictures at the top of the blog. We had such a wonderful time during the photo shoot. What has normally been a painful process for our family turned out to be one of our best days. We just had fun. Thank you Connie!

Second, I have been asked a lot lately where I am at on the "39 Things" list. Well here is a quick update. I have now completed 11 of the 39 items. The latest "thing" that I logged on the list was to complete a triathlon. On May 22, 2010, I completed the Woman of Steel Triathlon. The morning was very cold and rainy. Because the temperature was 39 degrees the swim portion was cancelled and the race was now a run-bike-run. Swimming is my stronger event - so I was a little disappointed but overall things went well for my first TRI effort. I was so nervous and the stress level was bringing me to tears. Dean was my cheerleader and spent the whole morning with me on the sidelines helping me all along the way! I survived and completed the race in 1 hour 50 minutes. A good start. I will participate in another "TRI" with Dean in September.

The "sugar" goal - well what can I say - the truth. I was doing really well but after about 3 weeks I slipped back into some old habits. I know I felt better, slept better and overall everything seemed better - so now I am trying again to see if I can go 39 days without sugar, gluten or dairy.

The "sugar" goal seems like one of the more challenging items on my list for me - but I ask myself why? It should be really easy. The other thing about not yet achieving this item is the way it makes me feel. I almost feel as if I have failed myself. And it is as if perfection on this item is definitely out of reach.

But why do I feel this need to be perfect? This is my list and who else really cares? So why do I feel the need to show to others the facade of perfection? And now that I think about it - perfection for me isn't just this one item, it isn't even the "39 Things" list, it is everyday life. I have a deep desire to prove to myself that I can do everything. I need to show that I can balance all that life has given me. I often feel that others judge me by my success and/or my failures. When in reality what it boils down to is simply me. I am not perfect. In fact I am very far from this thing called perfection and I hope that I never find it.

Harriet Braiker once said: "Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."

Anna Quindlen said: "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

So today, I am going to stop striving for perfection and start focusing on becoming myself. Being the best that I can be for me, my husband and my family. The people that mean the most to me, need me to be at my best - not perfect - but at my best. So as I continue to work on the "39 Things" list, my perspective has changed. I now ask myself, how can I develop myself? And how can that help me to support the ones that I love? Everything else is life - and that matters, but, it is the perspective that I approach life with - that is what I believe matters the most.