Baby Ducks

The other night Dean and I were driving down a very busy construction filled street for our weekly date.  We had had several difficult weeks at home with our teenagers.  Well, to be honest several difficult months -hence the reason I haven't blogged for a while.  So now that we had some time to ourselves, we were simply sitting in silence in the car.  The traffic light had turned red and I was lost in my thoughts trying to figure out how things had gone so far off course in our home.  Sitting there, I looked up and noticed a mother duck trying to get her babies across seven different lanes of traffic.  Since our car had just come to a stop, she decided to cross right in front of us.  My heart panicked for her knowing she needed to make it across the street with her brood.  In a split second I went to jump out of the car but I froze as the light turned green.  Dean rolled down the window and got oncoming cars to stop - she made it across half of the busy construction filled road and had halfway to go without our help.  Our car didn't move and neither did the car next to us.  This brave mother duck waddled on with her children following closely behind.  Cars stopped quickly on the other side of the road when they realized this small family was working so frantically to get across the street.  What played out in just a matter of seconds - sure felt like an eternity as we waited to ensure the safe passage of this small group.  They made it!  Oh relief, tears welled up in my eyes,my racing heart began to relax and we drove on to our destination.

Lost in my thoughts again, I realized that I am like that mother duck.  I didn't have the opportunity to raise my children when they were young and now as they begin to spread their wings and learn to take flight I find myself doing everything possible to make sure they know how to cross the very busy street of life.  I am dependant on others around me (God, family, ward members and good friends) to help guide my children safely through the worldly construction.  Sometimes I can't do it alone - in fact I am sure that's the way our Heavenly Father planned it.  I need God in my life, I need the guidance as I navigate across the "busy road."  My children need him as well.  It is so hard watching my children grow, struggle and learn.  As they struggle, I struggle.  I want so bad to shelter them from the storm.  I can't always do that and I have to have faith they will remember what they have been taught, make good choices and always be surrounded by the everyday people and things that will help them cross the busy street.

Life has settled down in our home again.  Our children have had some marvelous experiences in the past few weeks and I am grateful.  I pray that they will continue to have a desire to choose good things that make them happy.

Now on getting pregnant.  Well with all of the chaos in our home, Dean and I decided to focus on our teenagers - not on getting pregnant.  So acupuncture and temperature reading were put on hold.  To be honest, my teenagers are making me really question having a child.  Parenting teens is emotionally draining and frankly I am not sure I am up for round two.  So we are trying to decide what our next step will be in this process.  We are looking at getting July behind us and then we will determine which way to go on this journey.